Men and Sports

The first full week of the 2010-2011 football season has now come and gone, so I thought this was as good a time as any to share:

Five observations about men and the way they watch sports:

1. Men don’t like to listen to the people who are paid to analyze the game they are viewing. They’d much rather talk over them, and tell you (or the person in closest proximity), what just happened and why.

2. Regardless of how old they were when they last played the sport (yes, pee wee league counts), at some point during the game a man will talk about how he was involved in a similar play. Yes, they were five when it happened, and their opponents were barely 3 feet tall, but they’ve done the same exact thing!

3. Drinking beer, especially if it is a hard-to-find craft beer, makes every bad play bearable.

4. Men will visibly cringe and make loud and unpleasant noises when someone on the field gets hurt, and then they will rewind the play (multiple times) so they can cringe and groan some more.

5. A man might not remember to pick up the dry cleaning or where he put his keys, but he does remember how many fumbles Dick Butkus recovered during the 1970 season. And he will bring that, and other equally fascinating facts, up at least once during the course of the game you are watching.

Do you have anything to add to this list?

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17 responses

  1. I gotta say, pretty accurate observations. I don’t drink anymore, but I will say that when I did, it had to be pretty good beer I was drinking to make bad plays bearable (watery crap like Budweiser didn’t cut it). Can’t think of what else to add, but I’m sure someone else will chime in.

  2. Can’t argue with these – it’s definitely the same situation in our home. The only other thing I would add is something about Fantasy Football… no matter how well he’s doing, he’s always pissed at his score. And for some reason he needs to watch the stats update live on his computer screen even though he just watched the play happen 2 seconds ago.

  3. I have two: one is that the guy has money (even if it’s only $1) on the game. He’ll be soooo worried about the points he gave to the other guy. It’s just not enough to win anymore.

    #2: Regardless how much a man says he wishes he had a wife/girlfriend who loved sports as much as he does, he doesn’t really. It’s like golf: men want their “he-man club”.

    • Not sure I can agree with your #2. My husband has always loved the fact that I genuinely love, and regularly watch, sports. He doesn’t always understand why I want to tune in for the entire first day of the NFL draft, or the combine, but he really enjoys knowing that on Saturdays and Sundays (okay, the other days of the week too) I am as into it, or more into it, than he is. I have never met a man who didn’t appreciate my love of sports–think we need to find you new guys to hang out with Aunt Melmel! šŸ˜‰

  4. CRACKING up about your #1. SO SO SO true.

    My husband actually turned to me after the game and said “I wish I could be like my older brother… and just not watch sports” (said while he was in a crappy mood from the loss)

  5. And real men that watch sports have perfected the art of yelling at the screen fully believing the coaches, referees and players can actually hear them. My son and brother are very proficient.

    I must suffer from a new drug company invented malady I learned about on TV recently, it is called “Low T”. It takes a pretty big game to get me fired up. Last time I lost total control was the App State win over Michigan.

  6. I agree with #1, but that is mainly because the people who are paid to call the game aren’t calling the game. They are doing that Davie Jones locker crap, and almost anything but calling the game. I don’t do the rest of that list, but will admit I know many who do.

  7. 1. Be honest, can you really listen to the likes of Bob Davies, Lou Holtz, Mark May, etc without wanting to put a brick through the TV? it’s much easier to listen to my own idiotic analysis.
    2. i’ve never actually done this, but i think i’ll try it this weekend from my view in sec 115 inside Sanford Stadium…i have a wild imagination, so even a slow, white guy can return a punt for a TD like Brandon Boykin at some point earlier in his life. Embellished details are the key!
    3. i had enough of the cheap domestic last week to shrug the ugly USuC win off right after the game…GO DAWGS (and Bud Light)!
    4. You forgot running the injury replay back in sloooooowwww moooeesssssshuuuunnnnn…and the stupidly obvious comment, “MAN! I bet that hurt!”
    5. this is very true. Another thing is I can’t fathom why my wife will sit through something called, “BACHELOR PAD”, but I can’t understand her eye rolling when i’m sitting through a replay of the 2007 win over Vandy for the 15th time.

    • Love your comments!

      I agree 100 percent with what you’ve said about Lou Holtz et al., but sometimes during NFL and MLB games, I do want to hear what the experts have to say…

      Nice job slipping section 115 into the conversation. Yes, I am bitter. šŸ˜‰

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