Lobotomy, Lobotomy

Joey Ramone Place is number one. Number one in stolen New York City street signs that is. And that’s saying a lot because there are 250,900 such signs in the city, and among those are the very theft worthy Broadway, Wall St., and Love Lane. Joey Ramone Place, which is located at Bowery and East 2nd, has been lifted four times since it was first installed in 2003. But have no fear, New York City’s Department of Transportation has come up with a plan to thwart future thieves. They’ve raised the sign 20 feet above the street—-eight feet higher than the norm. How very un-punk rock of them.

Photo credit: William Lopez NY Post

I have few alternative suggestions:

~Encase the sign in cage made of barbed wire. Sure someone might still be able to take it, but they will have to work just a bit harder, and, they might wind up with a gash or two in the process.

~Real punks liked to spit and hock loogies, neither of which a sign can do. But a pigeon could be trained to hover over Joey Ramone Place and poop on anyone who tries to steal it. Birds delivered messages during the war, certainly they can be taught to poo on command.

~Give anyone who dares touch the sign a little jolt of electricity. The Ramones song Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment could play while the electronic waves are released.

This street sign is NYC’s official tip of the hat to one of, if not the, father of the punk rock movement. And now no one can really see it. Joey deserves better, don’t you think?


8 responses

  1. “If you are not in it, you are out of it”

    Went to CBGBs twice – 1994 and 1996. The second time, it was a Wednesday night and the place was kind of dead, but the bathroom was full. I was griping to the bartender that I really had to go and he said “go outside in the alley, Joey Ramone was here like a week ago; he did the same thing.” I had never been so honored to be a gross, dumb guy in my life.

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