Driven to Tears

Apparently, men don’t like it when women cry.  But that is not because they are cruel or heartless. It is because they want to get busy. Researchers from Israel conducted a study in which they tested the effects of women’s tears on the opposite sex.  The findings, which were published last week in the journal Science, indicate that when men are in the presence of a woman who is crying their ability to become sexually aroused is lessened.   You can read more about the study here.

All of this got me thinking about…crying, of course.  Is there a pattern to my own weeping?  Events, or occurrences that always make my lower lip quiver? In a Pavlov’s dog kind of way? Absolutely.

Guaranteed to make me boo-hoo:

~News clips that show members of the military returning home and surprising their family (especially if children are involved). Doesn’t matter that I know what is coming, doesn’t matter that I don’t know the people involved.  I. Always. Cry.

~Watching other people become parents.  Anytime a birth is shown on TV and the new parents start crying, I do too.

~The sight of U.S. Olympic hockey team goalie Jim Craig looking for his father after the Miracle on Ice.  This happened over thirty years ago, but you wouldn’t know it by the way I react.  Jim Craig wanting to connect with his father immediately after victory makes me bawl–even today.


~The final scene of a TV show that I love.

~Watching U.S. Olympic athletes being awarded the gold medal while the Star Spangled Banner is being played.  I don’t usually tear up when I hear the national anthem.  As a matter of fact, I have been known to scream the line: “Home of the brave” adding an “s” if my favorite baseball team is about to take the field.  So the anthem itself doesn’t automatically turn me into jello. Mix it with the Olympics, however, and I cry.

~Stories that involve a dying or injured animal always reduce me to tears.   Sadly, this includes stuffed animals such as the Velveteen Rabbit and animated characters like Bambi’s mom.


I had no business watching Old Yeller.  None, I tell you.

How about you?  Is there something that always makes you weep?  And do you think the results of the study are correct? Is crying a turnoff?


5 responses

  1. I saw that article too and was a little surprised at the word “turnoff”. I would have guessed that men don’t really LIKE it when girls cry, or they feel overwhelmed or helpless. But “turnoff” surprised me.

    I’m a crier, always have been. I cry mainly when I am angry, which is SO frustrating because I feel like my points aren’t as valid or understood when they’re said through tears. The animal movies also do it, and anything related to my kids being hurt.

    Most men I know deal w/ the criers pretty well. I think it is part of their job.

  2. I’m a hopeless crier. Always have been, always will be. Can’t control the waterworks no matter how hard I try. My emotions betray me all the time.
    If this makes my better half “weak” well, it might be because it’s about the only thing that will! Lol!

  3. I think perhaps the drop in testosterone that occurs may be an adaptive change. Men who quit thinking about sex when their women cry are more likely to be empathetic…and an empathetic man is more likely to get l**d later.
    What makes me cry? Doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen it: “Pride of the Yankees”. When I hear Lou Gehrig’s “luckiest man alive” speech, I turn to a puddle.

  4. O-kayyyyy. Probably didn’t count on a guy chiming in about things that make him misty eyed, but here goes:

    That video about soldier homecomings? Definitely.
    Ditto for stories about dying and injured animals.
    Or kids, particularly in emotional turmoil.
    The Budweiser commercial where the Clydesdales kneel down in front of Ground Zero. Big time.
    Amazing Grace, especially played on bagpipes at a funeral? Oh yeah.
    Especially at Mr. Spock’s funeral in ST2- The Wrath of Khan.
    Another wet-eyed movie moment? The Abyss, where Ed Harris begs, screams, and slaps a drowned Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio back to life.
    One more movie moment – the scene in We Are Marshall where the injured football player breaks down in front of the coach grieving over his teammates lost in the plane crash. That one tears me up just thinking about it.

    Now crying (or whining) for trivial reasons does turn me off, but someone in obvious emotional pain, particularly women or children, does make me want to reach out to them. Sometimes we all need to be needed, even us men, and sexual feeling has little or nothing to do with it.

    • @Ginger, It is hard when anger leads to tears. I get why you feel crying in some way invalidates the anger.

      @Suzette, You comment made me laugh!

      @Melissa, Oh yes, Lou Gehrig’s speech reduces me to tears too!

      @Dave, You express yourself so well. I enjoy reading your blog and the comments you leave here. I hope you have seriously considered writing a book.

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